The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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