There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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