He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
BRING THE BAGELS
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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