Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
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Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?