going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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