It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
