She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
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Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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