She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
