I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
