You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
