Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize