I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
