the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
