why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
