You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
