If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
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Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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