I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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