Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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