just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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