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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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