You made me cry and you don't even care
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize