kristin has been a bad kristin
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
