Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
