I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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