I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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