Sponge bath it is.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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