well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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