i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
