At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
