I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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