So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
