It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
