My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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