it's like iHOP with fire
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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