great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
