yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
