Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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