Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
