Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
