I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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