Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
