I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
