Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
