ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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