he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize