I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
love makes seman taste better
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
