All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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