Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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