I think I am morally bankrupt
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
