so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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