I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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