He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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