i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
