i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
