In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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