I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
