tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
