i already hear my dad disowning me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
