Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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