I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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