you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
