if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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