There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
