If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
