after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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