I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize